What a day. I got my monthlies which means even more pain than I already have and I managed to smash the car, great. I don't even know if I want to write about it because it's so depressing. I will try.
I was trying to be a good mum taking my son and his friend to the skate park even though my back was refusing to go, anyway couple of hours there and then they wanted Hungry Jacks so off we went to get some lunch(a special treat we don't eat a lot of junk food) well when reversing out I hit a poll that was so low you could not see it when up in a 4wd, a couple of thousand worth of damage. Why did this happen?
1. Pain,even more than usual. 2. Mind else where(worried about what other's were saying about me)
3. Worried about why I worry about what others were saying about me. 4. Thousand of random thoughts racing through my mind. Bad combination I know, I feel bad that we are going to have to spend money where we never would have if it weren't for me. Some days you should never leave the house. That's my lesson for today, wish I had learnt that one earlier.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Am I the only one?
Do you ever get so angry that it totally takes over your mind and body? I feel so angry that my insides are bursting at the seams and no matter how hard I try and use DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy) or CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) it just does not seem to work with me when I feel this way. Anger is one of the strongest emotions there is (well for me anyway) if you try and fight it you lose every time. I find the only way to try and sooth it is with distraction but finding a way to do this when you can't even think straight is the hard thing.
That's why I thought I would start blogging about the battles with depression and anxiety. I feel I will be on here a lot because I have been slipping back, don't you always find that? You can feel OK one day and think your winning the battle and then the next your back to square one. That's what's it like living with depression, it plays with your mind, it makes you think you are well on your way to recovery and bam! not so fast sunshine get back where you belong in the darkness in the pit of dis pair.
That's why I thought I would start blogging about the battles with depression and anxiety. I feel I will be on here a lot because I have been slipping back, don't you always find that? You can feel OK one day and think your winning the battle and then the next your back to square one. That's what's it like living with depression, it plays with your mind, it makes you think you are well on your way to recovery and bam! not so fast sunshine get back where you belong in the darkness in the pit of dis pair.
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